Open Play

I used to think I was shy. I could run a business, talk to customers, manage employees, negotiate, sell, solve problems. But friendship felt different. Small talk felt different. Meeting new people without some practical reason behind it felt uncomfortable. For a long time, I figured that was just who I was. Then I started playing more pickleball. The strange genius of pickleball is open play. You show up, put your paddle in, and rotate into games with whoever is there. You don’t need a partner. You don’t need a plan. You just need to show up. Then suddenly you’re on a court with three people you may not know. You ask their names. You call the score. You say “nice shot.” You laugh at bad ones. You tap paddles when the game is over. Then maybe you sit together for a few minutes before the next game. It doesn’t feel like making friends, which might be why it works. A name becomes a familiar face. A familiar face becomes someone you sit with between games. Then maybe you exchange numbers. Then maybe they text you when they’re playing somewhere else. Recently I played with my friend Alan, who is from Taiwan. He’s a pilot and sometimes comes to Los Angeles to deliver freight. We met through pickleball. Now when he gets into town, he pings me. That still amazes me. A guy from Taiwan lands in Los Angeles, texts me, and we go play pickleball. A few years ago, I don’t know if that would have happened. Or maybe I just wouldn’t have been open enough to let it happen. Pickleball didn’t turn me into a different person. I’m still introverted in plenty of ways. I still like quiet. I’m not suddenly the guy working the room. But it has brought out a side of me I didn’t think I had. I’m more willing to talk now. More willing to ask questions. More willing to let people know me. Part of that is getting older. I’m more comfortable with my own story. I’ve built things. I’ve made money. I’ve had success. I’ve made mistakes. I’ve learned lessons the hard way. I’m more okay with all of it now. A lot of the guys I play with are younger than me. I can still compete with them, which feels good. But I also feel like I have something to offer beyond the game. A little perspective. A few lessons. Maybe just an example of someone still trying, still growing, still playing. For a long time, I thought making friends was difficult because I was shy. Now I wonder if I was just closed. Open play taught me something simple: you don’t have to force connection. You just have to keep showing up where connection can happen. Sometimes it’s just a game. Sometimes it’s a friendship. Sometimes it’s a pilot from Taiwan texting you that he’s back in town. And sometimes, without realizing it, you open up again.