The Sport Was Never Really About the Sport

I've been playing pickleball for a couple of years now. And somewhere along the way, it stopped being about pickleball. Today I played with the same guys I've been showing up for on Monday mornings. We hit the courts at Manhattan Beach Bay Club — our usual spot has been closed for a few weeks, so we've been making it work wherever we can. We played, we competed, we gave each other grief. Then we went to dinner. It sounds simple. It is simple. That's kind of the point. --- For most of my adult life, my friendships were tangled up in work. The guys I was closest to were business partners or friends I'd had since college. People I'd been in the trenches with for years. That's real. I'm not dismissing it. But there's something about those relationships that's always slightly *on*. There's shared history. Stakes. When you've built something together, or failed at something together, that bond has weight — but it also has edges. You don't always get the second personality. The part of you that's just a guy on a court who's annoyed he missed an easy shot. --- Pickleball gave me that back. The guys I play with now — I met them on a court. That's it. No business reason. No mutual obligation. Just the sport, which turned into a standing game, which turned into real conversations over food afterward. The conversations go places. Life, family, opinions about stuff that has nothing to do with anyone's LinkedIn. And it happens naturally, without anyone scheduling a "catch-up." --- I'm at a point in life where I can see more clearly what I spent a long time not prioritizing. I don't want to be dramatic about it — I'm not sitting here full of regret. But I can see the gap. Years where the only people I really talked to were clients, partners, or family. No range. No play. You can't go backwards. But you can make sure you don't keep making the same trade-off. --- The sport brought us together. But the sport isn't really the point. Find your pickleball. Whatever gets you in front of the same people, on a regular basis, with no agenda other than showing up. It matters more than you think.